Metro Pulse Online: Movies, Past &Amp; Future

Armed only with his mysterious mental connection to the feral minds of studio executives, the Movie Guru reveals just how good or bad this week's new releases will be:

T-3: Rise of the Machines (R)
True to his word, T-800 is back, but this time he may have met his match. Ah-nuld does battle with a Terminatrix (Kristanna Loken), who is out to kill - you guessed it - John Connor (Nick Stahl), before he can foil the machines' designs upon world domination.
Prediction: The Guru is a fan of the Terminator and, therefore, biased but we're putting our money on the big guy. Word is Hollywood paid $175 million for this blockbuster, which might lend credence to the rumor that the fix is in.

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde (PG-13)
Reese Witherspoon is back as Elle Wood and fighting for Animal rights on Capitol Hill. Sassiness and pink abound in this sequel, with Sally Field and Bob Newhart along for the ride.
Prediction: More sassy and more pink than the original, which is a good thing, provided you like sassy and pink.

Raising Victor Vargas (R)
A jealous younger brother, a nutty girlfriend, and a batty grandmother are all that stand in the way of teenager, Victor Vargas (Victor Rasuk), finding some sanity in this indie-comedy set on the Lower East Side.
Prediction: Victor comes of age to the delight of audiences everywhere.

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (PG)
A Dreamworks animated feature starring the voices of Brad Pitt as Sinbad, Christine Baranski as the Greek goddess of Chaos, and Ralph Fiennes as the sea-god, Proteus.
Prediction: For kids who can't wait to tag along with the Arabian Knight on his newest adventure and 28th film installment.

Sweet Sixteen (R)
Scottish teenager, Liam (Martin Compston), is determined to have a normal life. Problem is, his mum's in prison. When she gets released, he sets out to raise enough money to buy a house.
Prediction: The rogues with brogues were a hit in The Full Monty, but it had full frontal.

Roman in the Gloamin'

And so it was that in the autumn of his years (he'll be 70 in August), Roman Polanski was forgiven. He still can't enter the United States, thanks to that statutory rape conviction from the 1970s (which by all accounts was more rape than statutory), but he was awarded the Best Director Oscar this year, and Best Actor winner Adrien Brody got to kiss Halle Berry on his behalf.

Which is all well and good, I suppose. Even the girl he raped, Samantha Geimer, who was 13 at the time, has said the case should be dropped (which reflects better on her than him). Still, Roman wasn't in L.A. to accept his award for The Pianist (R, 2002), and his laurels in absentia can't quite disguise the scars of a disturbed man—a man whose mother died in Auschwitz, whose best-known (and best) movies dive head-first into paranoia and persecution and the ever-present seductiveness of evil.

The Pianist is his bid for late-career resuscitation, and he pulls out all the stops. There's nothing remotely subtle about the narrative, based on the life of virtuoso Jewish pianist Wladyslaw Spzilman. Brody plays the protagonist as a doe-eyed Romantic, Pierrot with a piano—the starving artist caught in a world of guns and power and calculated genocide. His performance is mostly bullshit, of the high-minded, arched-eyebrow Hollywood variety, but it can't help accumulating power as the story rolls along.

Polanski, who actually survived the Warsaw and Krakow ghettos, is a masterful filmmaker, and The Pianist shows how much he's learned over the years. He clearly wants this to be his testament and manifesto, and it more or less does the job. It's not as smart or as true as his best movies (look for Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown, and also the '70s paranoid relic The Tenant), but it was smart and true enough for the academy. Look for him on the red carpet one of these years.

—Jesse Fox Mayshark