The 10th Annual Metro Pulse Readers' Poll
For nine spring seasons past we have asked; for nine spring seasons past you have answered. Now, on our 10th anniversary, our "aluminum" anniversary, we have to admit:
We didn't get you anything special—certainly nothing aluminum.
Back when we were younger, it was easier. Remember, on our 5th anniversary ("wood"), how delighted you were with those wooden breast-shaped door-knockers? And you loved the cotton Vol napkins we gave for anniversary number two. Yes, those early years, we kept you satisfied.
But in our 7th celebration, you seemed disappointed with the bronzed Victor in Victory faces we presented to you. And last year, you were positively sullen toward your very own porta-potty-shaped pottery. We felt the spark had gone out of the relationship.
So we didn't get you anything this year. (Oh, we briefly considered getting you some siding or guttering, but we could just picture that crabby face you'd make.)
Sure, we'll still go through the motions. We've tallied up all the ballots you sent us. No surprises there; we threw out the usual number of incorrectly filled out ballots (we plead with you to follow the instructions; you just *sniff* never listen to us); we threw out the usual percentage of stuffed ballots
(Why? Every year, we ask you, "Why?" We see them, we catch them, we toss them out; yet still you persist. Do you have any idea how disappointed we are?). You chose the usual number of repeat winners and the usual number of surprise winners.
Of course, we have to say, we were especially pleased with several of your repeat winner selections; hey, they're our favorites too. And, well, we do enjoy the way you rock our world with the occasional surprise pick. (Buzz Peterson, Knoxvillian of the Year? We loved that last year.) Heh, and we get a kick out of all the little barbs you jokingly toss at us in the "How can we improve Metro Pulse?" responses: "Let me write for you," "Let me write for you!," "You need me to write for you." You're such kidders.
And we can't help but notice that, even though we made the ballot harder this year (51 categories required rather than 25), you truly put in the effort, and came through with just as many legitimate ballots as last year. What dedication.
Oh all right, maybe you do still care.
OK, OK, let's have the 10th Annual Best of Knoxville Bash after all! Let's celebrate the marriage of Metro Pulse and Knoxville, for better, for worse! Maybe we can put some zest back into this relationship. See you this evening, Knoxville, 5:30 p.m. at the Foundry. Free food, a cash bar, the love and adoration of all...what more could you ask for?
No, you're not getting the aluminum siding...
Here's to another 10 great years.
April 24, 2002 * Vol. 13, No. 17
© 2003 Metro Pulse
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