Comment
on this story

Field Generals
In a year of great QBs, the Vols should come out on top

Walking?
UT's most notorious physical-education class is not just a stroll in the park

Try 5,000 Pizzas
Win or lose, the Neyland crowd has to eat and drink

Football Season, Dammit!
Confessions of a Vanderbilt fan

The Real Rules of the Game

What do those funny little men in stripes mean by those funny little gestures?

Key—Bold: What it's supposed to mean
Italic: What it really means

Touchdown Raise your hands if you're sure...

Safety Time for the Dance of the Seven Veils

Ball Illegally Touched Would I look sexier with shoulder pads?

Delay of Game I'm not speaking to you until you apologize.

Holding Did my watch stop?

Illegal Contact Stop! In the name of love!

Illegal Forward Pass Do these knickers make my ass look big?

Unsportsmanlike Conduct Tower, this is flight TZ731; we're ready for take-off.

Invalid Fair Catch Hi, Mom!

Loss of Down "Hey, Macarena!"

 

August 29, 2002 * Vol. 12, No. 35
© 2002 Metro Pulse