Metro Pulse Online: Movies, Past &Amp; Future

Armed only with his mysterious mental connection to the feral minds of studio executives, the Movie Guru reveals just how good or bad this week's new releases will be:

Around the Bend (R)
When the Lair family patriarch (Michael Caine) dies and leaves a bizarre will—written on a Kentucky Fried Chicken bag—his son (Christopher Walken), grandson (Josh Lucas) and great-grandson go on a scavenger-hunt roadtrip to honor the old guy and work out their own estrangement.
Now Showing: Downtown West

Birth (R)
In the continuing trend of movies with creepy kids, Birth is about a young widow, Anna (Nicole Kidman), about to marry her second husband when she meets a dead-serious 10-year-old boy who claims to be the reincarnation of her first. Jonathan Glazer (Sexy Beast) directs the screenplay by Jean-Claude Carriere and Milo Addica.
Now Showing: Downtown West

Ray (PG-13)
The Oscar buzz has already begun over Jamie Foxx’s spot-on portrayal of legendary soul singer Ray Charles. This biopic tracks Charles’ life, from his tragic impoverished youth to his status as an icon who changed the course of music.
Now Showing: Tinseltown USA

Saw (R)
A malicious madman plays the ultimate arbiter of good and evil by kidnapping people and pitting them against each other in gruesome challenges of agony. Cary Elwes and Danny Glover are unlucky victims.
Now Showing: Tinseltown USA

The Yes Men (R)
Documentary filmmakers Chris Smith and Sarah Price (American Movie) take on the Yes Men, two guys named Andy and Mike whose fake website looks so much like the World Trade Organization’s that they are invited to travel around the world making presentations. With a strong sense of humor and a belief in anti-globalization, Andy and Mike take audiences by surprise with their message.
Now Showing: Downtown West

Monster Mash

In his latest starring role now on DVD, Hugh Jackman takes the opposing side on the monster battlefront, making a switch from his previous role as Wolverine in X-Men to a bonafide monster obliterator as the title character in Van Helsing.

Jackman’s masculine yet Buffy-like monster-killer is hired by the Vatican to control the population of creatures that pose threats of monstrous proportions, namely Dracula and his brides. He is sent to Transylvania to protect the inculpable townspeople and the royal family, particularly the sultry Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale).

The film is a monster mishmash: the bulky yet submissive Frankenstein’s monster (the most well portrayed of this motley crew), the two-faced Mr. Hyde; the hairy, scary, toothy Wolf Man; and, last but not least, the dauntless Count Dracula who attempts to use his powers in an innovative fashion.

The movie opens noir style in the doomed and gloomy city of Transylvania in 1867. The village mob is equipped with pitchforks and torches aflame, a great homage to horror movies of old. Van Helsing has a good jumpstart but fails to live up to standards put in place by its predecessors. Dracula’s persona is given a new, modern twist, as he attempts to gain power through the knowledge of Frankenstein’s monster, a gratifying change from the patriarchal tales of terror.

Much like the monster’s assemblage of body parts, Van Helsing consists of all the ingredients necessary for a good horror flick—infamous characters, electrifying special effects, experienced actors—but the plot fails to fulfill expectations. Beyond its basic entertainment value, the plot leaves you wanting more monsters and less Helsing. Where it might have focused more on the raw horror of a town invaded by the villainous, brutish all-stars, it instead lands smack in big-budget action flick territory. Van Helsing is spooky fun, but, in the horror film genre, the classics are always worthy of a second look.

—Melissa Elkins