Metro Pulse Online: Movies, Past &Amp; Future

Armed only with his mysterious mental connection to the feral minds of studio executives, the Movie Guru reveals just how good or bad this week's new releases will be:

The Grudge (PG-13)
A re-make of the Japanese horror flick Ju-On, The Grudge tells the haunting story of a murderous and supernatural curse born when a person is wrongly killed and dies angry. Karen (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is an American nurse stationed in Tokyo when she happens upon the evil grudge and falls victim to the horrible consequences involved with the curse.
Now Showing: Foothills 12, Wynnsong 16, Tinseltown USA, Farragut Towne Square

I ♥ Huckabees (R)
Albert Markovski (Jason Schwartzman) wants to impress his girlfriend and change the boring, humdrum way he lives his life, so he does what anyone in his situation would do and hires two wacky “existential detectives” (Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin) who promise to transform him into the man he deeply desires to be. Also starring Jude Law, Naomi Watts and “Marky” Mark Wahlberg. Read the movie review.
Now Showing: Downtown West

Red Lights (NR)
French director Cedric Kahn, in the grand film-noir tradition of Alfred Hitchcock, tells the suspenseful and thrill-packed story of a bickering married couple (Jean-Pierre Darroussin and Carole Bouquet) on a road trip to pick up their children from summer camp. The plot thickens and begins to twist when the wife disappears at a truck stop tavern and the husband picks up a mysterious hitchhiker somehow connected with the wife’s sudden vanishing.
Now Showing: Downtown West

Surviving Christmas (PG-13)
Sick and tired of spending the holiday season alone and depressed, Drew Latham (Ben Affleck) decides to go back to his childhood home and have a good ol’ fashioned family Christmas. The only problem is that his actual family moved away long ago and the Valcos (James Gandolfini, Catherine O’Hara and Christina Applegate) moved in. Drew doesn’t seem to mind the awkward circumstances and high-comedy ensues as he insists on following though with his spirited mission, regardless of what the Valcos have to say (or do) about it.
Now Showing: Foothills 12, Carmike 10, Tinseltown USA, Farragut Towne Square, West Town Mall

Therese (PG)
Finally! A movie about the ordinary girl with an extraordinary soul, Saint Therese of Lisieux. Filmmaker Leonardo DeFilippis captures the inspirational life of the beloved Saint and reveals the overwhelming and giving spirituality that made her the important woman and symbol she has become today.
Now Showing: Downtown West

A Gory Mess

Perhaps Director Gregor Jordan, whose short films have gleaned praise at Sundance, Cannes and other film festivals, should stick to what he knows. His latest feature, Ned Kelly, seems to trudge endlessly on the road to Dullsville. To cut the film a little slack, epic films are rarely well done; Titanic was too cheesy, Braveheart was too long, and Gladiator had too much Russell Crowe.

Set in Australia in the 1870’s, Kelly tells the story of the notorious Irish immigrant Ned Kelly (Heath Ledger) and his gang of outlaws. Ledger’s dimples almost make up for his lack of acting range, but in the end, he fails to carry the film, bumbling monotonously as he has a tendency to do.

No stranger to the brutality of the Victorian “coppers,” Kelly is pushed to dire straits when his mother is wrongfully incarcerated for attempted murder. In an attempt to spring her from jail, Kelly and company end up in a skirmish and are forced to kill three police officers. The Kelly Gang, made up of the Kelly brothers and Joe Byrne (Orlando Bloom), are considered the fiercest enemies of the crown, with a hefty bounty on their heads.

Kelly begins Robin-hooding through the outback, robbing banks and recovering immigrants’ land deeds, winning the adoration of his countrymen, and deepening animosity from law enforcement. Everything culminates predictably in gory battle scenes that are lackluster at best.

Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of the film is the dreary performance of the usually-standout actors, Naomi Watts and Geoffrey Rush, playing the meek love-interest and clichÉ “bad cop,” respectively.

Though not a blockbuster, Kelly has assets. History buffs will enjoy the story, while teenage girls (and older girls, too) will relish the scruffy facial hair of Ledger and Bloom. For the most part, though, it lacks the charisma needed to make an epic film worth sitting still for.

—Molly Kincaid