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The Big Ticket

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
The funny, charming holiday tradition. Thru Dec. 21, 7:30 p.m. Bijou Theater.

King Kong w/ Divorce
White indie quirk-funk with a new local "it" band. Thursday, Dec. 11, 9 p.m. Pilot Light. $5.

The Loft
Youthful rock 'n' roll. Thursday, Dec. 11, 9 p.m. Barley's. Free.

International Orange with The Ghosts
Renew your love for pop music. Friday, Dec. 12, 9 p.m. ThInQ Tank. $3.

R.B. Morris with Mary Alice Wood and Wil Wright
Two Americana songwriters and one singer for Senryu. Friday, Dec. 12, 9 p.m. Blue Cats. $7, or $6 with college ID.

Knoxville Early Music Project
Old instruments, gorgeous music. Friday, Dec. 12, 8 p.m. Laurel Theater. $8-$10.

Ijams Family Day & Open House
Crafts, owls, nature hikes. Saturday, Dec. 13, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Ijams Nature Center. Free.

Pet Portraits with Santa
Smile, Fluffy, it's for a good cause! Dec. 13, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. & Dec. 14, 12-5 p.m. PetSafe Village. Proceeds benefit Humane Society of the Tennessee Valley.

Vintage Toy Show
I went to West Town Mall over the weekend. I generally avoid the mall, because I am neither pretty enough nor wealthy enough to feel comfortable there. However, seeing spoiled children of all ages thinking of others—if only out of obligation—makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
Each store in the mall has a distinct atmosphere. Most stores scream, but the toy store warbles with an orchestrated arrangement of beeps and blurps, whistles and whirrs. But before turtles were ninjas and educational characters could be tickled, toys were powered with imagination rather than batteries.
New City Merchants is proudly displaying a spectacular slew of old-fashioned playthings. Shop owners Dayton Hanford and Judith Baum Foltz issued an APB to serious collectors and received hundreds of submissions for consignment. Worn boats without remote controls; mute, threadbare dolls; and scruffy cars without engines hearken back to an era when emphasis was placed on quality rather than technology. Seek the antique, and lose yourself in the joy of your children destroying something old instead of something newfangled and cold. (Clint Casey)
VINTAGE TOY SHOW * THROUGH DEC. 24, TUESDAY-SATURDAY 10 A.M-6 P.M., SUNDAY 12-6 P.M. * NEW CITY MERCHANTS, 109 S. BROADWAY AVE.

Dromedary
The music made by Andrew Reissiger and Rob McMaken hints at so many different origins that its exact location on the map is hard to pin down. One thing is for certain: toss out all your preconceptions about world music. Dromedary's aural universe is a place that's at once recognizable and refreshingly new. Take, for instance, their interpretation of Radiohead's "Airbag" on Live From the Make Believe. Interpreted through guitar, mandolin, Appalachian dulcimer and charango, the first track from OK Computer is reborn—more earthy, less electronic, but entirely compelling. The duo's original songs are an energetic blend of bluegrass with twangs of Middle Eastern and Eastern European folk music. Barley's can be a loud place, so sit up close and keep your beermug-clinking to a minimum; you're going to want to hear every pluck and strum from this band. And if you overhear anyone calling it "music to herd goats to," know they mean it as a fond compliment. (Paige M. Travis)
DROMEDARY * FRIDAY, DEC. 12, 9 P.M. * BARLEY'S * FREE.

An Eve of Erotica
Amphigory blurs the line between spoken word, performance art, theater and poetry. In their performances, the local group of writers, visual artists, musicians and singers strives to break down the fourth wall that keeps the audience at a safe emotional distance, addressing issues with frankness and humor. This time around, their issue of choice is sex, which they will tackle with An Eve of Erotica.
An Eve of Erotica is "a literary, musical, and artistic collaboration of the senses which expresses our feelings about sex, sexuality, and the freedom of creative expression," says poet and Amphigory member Kari Hoffman. Appropriate to the subject matter, some of the pieces include adult language, but no nudity. The concept is to cross-reference different kinds of art in order to paint (or draw or rhyme) a portrait of individual experiences of sexuality into an engaging whole. The results are sure to be interesting. (P.M.T.)
AN EVE OF EROTICA BY AMPHIGORY * SATURDAY, DEC. 13, 10 P.M. * URBAN BAR & CORNER CAFE, BACK ROOM * FREE

Evil Twin's "Final" Show
Recently, we here at Metro Pulse received the following bizarre missive from somebody purporting to be in league with the late and, um, lamented local rock band Evil Twin; what you make of it is entirely up to you.
"Hello.
Yeah. I know I brazenly declared the death of Daisy and thus Evil Twin a while back. And it was all pretty accurate. HOWEVER, it seems they give out furloughs in hell, and Daisy gets to come back for one final show here in Knoxville. Seems some minor demon deducted that Evil Twin, being Knoxvillians, shouldn't play their last f——— show in Johnson City, cool though it may be. Blue Cats, out of either wisdom or pity, opted to host this final debacle. Oh hell.
Evil Twin will play one final show Wednesday, Dec. 17 at Blue Cats on Jackson Ave. Joining the freaks will be Straight Line Stitch, possibly the heaviest rock band in this sorry town, and there will be some Lust, for a hard rock appetizer. Yum.
Oh the brutality.
The extradamned rocknroll from hell.
And we dare you.
Rus13."
EVIL TWIN W/ LUST AND STRAIGHT LINE STITCH * WEDNESDAY, DEC. 17, 9 P.M. * BLUE CATS * $5