Raised by a tribe of nomadic Buddhist vegetarians in the vineyards of upstate New York, Jesse claims to have earned a degree of some sort at "a large northeastern university," the name of which he can't quite recall. He has worked variously as a bus boy, bartender, and porch builder. He has no comment on the two years he allegedly spent in the employ of the Knoxville News-Sentinel, other than observing that "their computers crashed a lot." He's currently working on a book, or possibly just drinking a lot, it's hard to tell.