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New Ole Miss coach reckons with past mistakes

by Tony Basilio

Upon hiring new head football coach Ed Orgeron, Ole Miss Chancellor Robert Khayat proclaimed, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Anytime you introduce your new head coach with a preface like that, it can only mean one thing: You’ve hired someone that would make Jerry Tarkanian proud.

Orgeron has a felony record involving violence against women. Still, he can recruit football players. He comes from USC, where he served as recruiting coordinator for a team working on its second consecutive national championship. Since it’s the holiday season, it only seems appropriate to lend a hand to Orgeron in assembling his coaching staff. In the spirit of charity, of course.

Before we assemble the staff, let’s first take a closer look at this man Ole Miss has inducted into the college coaching Millionaire’s Club. Orgeron, a former Miami Hurricanes assistant back in the early 1990s, has what one might call—if one was inclined to hasty judgment, that is—a checkered past. In 1992, after a series of violent incidents perpetrated on a female worker at the University of Miami, Orgeron was served with a restraining order. He was also ordered to complete a 26-week treatment program.

In July 1992 the man who is now the new head coach of Ole Mess was charged with second-degree battery—a felony—for allegedly head-butting a bar manager. He eventually resigned from Miami, to “regroup.”

A decade later, he finds himself the new kid on the block in the rough and rugged SEC. Orgeron claimed he is a changed man at his inaugural press conference. “I’m completely confident in the steps I’ve taken to correct those mistakes in my life,” Orgeron said. Mistakes. Well, naturally, the guy needs a like-minded coaching staff that will watch his back, help him fly right and avoid making any more...mistakes. These are my suggestions.

• For offensive Coordinator: O.J. Simpson. The Juice can help assist Orgeron with the finer points of maturing as an embattled public figure. Plus, this guy really knows how to put an opponent away. Rival coaches say he has the killer instinct!

• Quarterbacks coach: Warren Moon. Moon has the distinction of being the first 40-year-old quarterback in NFL history...to be arrested for domestic violence. Moon currently does television and would no doubt relish the opportunity to get back with the guys.

• Running backs coach: Lawrence Phillips. This former Nebraska star would be a great asset to Orgeron’s staff. Phillips once dragged his girlfriend Kate McKewin down a flight of stairs by her hair. Having worn out his welcome in every football league under the sun with his stupidity and recklessness, Phillips could help Rebel football players meld with normal students. The only problem being that Phillips does have a few legal issues to clear up—in Canada, where he has recently been charged with sexual assault while playing in the CFL. Hey—we all make mistakes!

• Wide receivers coach: Rae Carruth. Yeah. I know what you’re saying. You’re saying “But this guy’s in jail for conspiracy in the murder of his pregnant girlfriend.” You have a good point, but consider that he could potentially assist O.J. in the search for Nicole’s killer. Besides, he’s a changed man, I’m sure. Did I mention he could recruit? Did I mention that we all make mistakes?

• Defensive coordinator/linebackers coach: Lawrence Taylor. The legendary LT—a veritable magnet for recruits (not to mention crack dealers and prostitutes). Now that 60 Minutes, Roy Firestone and the WWE have no more interest in him, what else is he going to do for the rest of his life? LT once told the world that he kicked his coke addiction by playing massive amounts of golf. That’s just the kind of guy who would fit right in with the current Ole Mess regime.

• Defensive line/tackles: Christian Peter. This ex-Nebraska star and former college teammate of Lawrence Phillips is another athlete who has had a brush or two with the law. Well, it might have been more than just a brush or two. Actually, Peter was arrested eight times between 1991 and 1997. Some of his arrests were amusing (public urination, trespassing, threatening to kill a parking lot attendant). Some were less so (3rd degree assault of a former Miss Nebraska). But don’t fret those little mistakes. Peter hasn’t had any significant brushes with the law in months now.

• Secondary coach: Dwayne Goodrich. This former Vol is currently serving time, deep in the heart of Texas, after two vehicular homicides of his own. This former Cowboy star would undoubtedly attract prospects. Just don’t let him carpool with Little.

To some of you, this column might seem tasteless, even over-the-top. But to me, it’s far less offensive than giving a coveted job to an individual with the past that Orgeron has. It’s a crying shame that solid people like Tennessee’s John Chavis get passed over every December while coaches of ill repute get rewarded because they can recruit. That Ole Miss would discard a quality human being in David Cutcliffe for someone like Orgeron is wholly more detestable than anything I could ever write in this space. But, hey... Everybody makes mistakes.

Tune in and talk sports with Tony Basilio weekdays from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on ESPN Radio WVLZ 1180 AM.

December 23, 2004 • Vol. 14, No. 52 © 2004 Metro Pulse