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Thoughts on how to start the New Year right

by Wendy Smith

It’s that time of year again. Time to figure out what we want to change about ourselves and, in a few broad, sweeping sentences, change our lives. I remember one brain-fogged New Year’s Day, several years ago. We were going around the breakfast table stating our resolutions, and Kris said, “I resolve not to drink human blood in 1994.” She then expounded upon her resolution by saying, “I’m tired of making resolutions I always break, so this year I’m making one that I am not going to break.” Well, we were all fairly sure that she was not a vampire and it was the first day of 1996, so I feel strongly that she was free and clear on that one. But I’ve remembered that conversation every year when Dec. 31 rolls around.

It occurred to me at some point that absolute resolutions always fail because we try to fix everything in one fell swoop. For example, “I’m going to lose 50 pounds this year” or ‘I’m going to work out every single day this year” are hard lines to tow. I’m in favor of the softer, kinder resolutions like “I will think about working out at least once this year.” Seriously, I’m not that bad. However, I do try to make resolutions with a little wiggle room. Ones with room for both failure and growth. Ones whereby I can grow into lifestyle changes that will make me more of what and who I want to be.

A couple of years ago, my resolution was to try to remember to breathe. I mean the deep, lung-filling breaths that most of us rarely take. I resolved to breathe when angry or stressed to rid myself of that energy. Now my short-tempered, reddish head is much better about taking a deep breath and gaining perspective. And it led me to Yoga and a stronger belief in the energy of my own body.

Another year, I resolved to try to eat a healthier diet with less processed food. I didn’t know how to begin, so I took baby steps. Step one was to try to buy only organic cheese. I knew I could live with that for a year. The cheese was so good that I started buying organic milk and butter and reading more about organic and whole foods, and eventually processed foods were, for the most part, pushed out.

Yet another year, I resolved to be better to myself. That was a hard one. But I tried to give myself permission to take that long shower (and waste hot water), go to that yoga class, get that Shiatsu massage, and buy organic produce. But now I eat better, I exercise more and I have more of myself to give to family and friends.

Last year, I resolved to try to act with intent. That is, to think about why I was doing what I was doing and what I hoped to accomplish with my actions or my words. It required me to stop and think about what the end goal really was. I discovered that action and intent are not always the same thing.

And every year, I use the word “try” with myself. Some people can go without it, but I can’t. What I have found is that I have changed in the last few years, probably not perceptibly to those around me, but, between me and me, I am different. And my New Year’s resolutions are for me.

The new year is a great time to re-evaluate life. January 1 is in the dead of winter, in dreamtime when the days are short. The darkness comes early and from the darkness will come the light. I like the mythology of Persephone, daughter of Zeus and Demeter (Greek earth, grain goddess), who was abducted by Hades and taken to the underworld. While Demeter searched for her daughter, she wandered the earth in sorrow and there were no crops. This was not acceptable and a deal was made which allowed Persephone to return to earth for half of the year (spring and summer), but she had to return to the underworld for the second half (fall and winter). When Persephone is on earth and reunited with her mother, crops grow and flourish and when she descends to the underworld, the earth grows cold and crops wither and die. While Persephone is in the darkness, she dreams of the light. Like Persephone, we close the year out in darkness to dream and germinate a new perspective on ourselves. And as the days grow longer with light, hopefully we grow too.

December 23, 2004 • Vol. 14, No. 52 © 2004 Metro Pulse