Comment on this story

There were some oddballs, but some sober thinkers, too

by Barry Henderson

When the Central Business Improvement District’s Shelton Communications-conducted survey questionnaire for branding downtown Knoxville was circulated many months ago, its invited bizarre answer. The respondents didn’t disappoint.

Who could blame the responders? The questions themselves were both serious and whimsical.

It’s worthwhile, or maybe that’s the wrong term—instructive?—to run through the list of answers. Anyway, it’s irresistible. So, here goes nothing:

1. What do the words “Downtown Knoxville” mean to you?

The most frequent answers were prosaic, as in “Where I work,” or “Lawyers and bankers,” or “Parking problems.” The more imaginative ran to “Dead Town Knoxville,” through such compliments as “Diamond-in-the-Rough Knoxville,” and (I kid you not) “A commercially prosperous, highly pedestrian urban center with numerous greenspaces, inviting storefronts, and a diverse mix of business and residential property, but primarily a city [that] has a reputation for encouraging and supporting the creative and entrepreneurial energy so vital to long-term growth.” Uh, yeah, no kidding?

2. If Downtown Knoxville were a car, what would it be?

Well, the ever-beloved ’57 Chevy got the most nods, followed closely, however, by the Edsel and Yugo. There were a bunch of descriptions (an old Mercedes, a Porsche 956, a ’57 T-bird, your father’s Oldsmobile, that included the reference to a classic in need of expert or total restoration, repair or refurbishment) that indicated a love of unrealized potential. There was also a “Ford Pinto, cheap and ugly,” a few “beat-up” nondescript cars and trucks and (who is this person?) “A Chevy El Camino—a car before its time with a ‘sense of purpose’ identity crisis, not refined enough to be accepted into the car family, yet snubbed by the pickup posse for not being gritty enough to be useful.”

3. What movie would Downtown Knoxville be?

The only answer to appear more than twice was Gone with the Wind, one of which included the parenthetical “because no one gives a damn.” The other responses were a bag even more mixed than the car thing. But with lots of explanations, such as, “Harry Potter (it needs some magic to make things happen)” through “Shrek (everyone thought of us as an Ogre—we will get the pretty girl)” to “Memento (backwards sequence of events makes it difficult to follow where you’re going. No Night of the Living Dead).” That should set you to thinking, or cussing. Then, there were the unexplained, as in Grapes of Wrath, Forrest Gump, Oklahoma!, On the Waterfront, Fried Green Tomatoes and Waiting to Exhale. On a more resonant note, someone replied, “The Talented Mr. Ripley (until we embrace what makes us unique and quit trying to imitate).”

4. If Downtown Knoxville were a celebrity, who would it be?

What a range. From Trent Lott to Tom Hanks, from Donny Osmond (“faded”), to Frank Sinatra (“dead”) and from Robert Downey Jr. to Robert Duvall. There was Brad Renfro (“an underachiever with talent and potential”), Ann-Margret (“classic beauty overcame near death to emerge an even more classic beauty”), and Michael Jackson (“continual efforts to remake himself but never finished”). The most striking image was evoked by the response, “Pat Summitt wearing a football jersey, sitting on a missile, and thumb-picking an acoustic.”

5. In the year 2008, downtown Knoxville will be?

The prevalent response was “Better,” or “Busier,” or “Thriving,” or a “Vibrant creative center,” believe it or not, but there were also the “Worse,” “Still Dead,” and “A work still in progress.” The enthusiast’s “One of the South’s first downtowns to visit and one of its finest neighborhoods in which to live,” and the cynic’s “Master planning an adaptive reuse of the new convention center as a retail/entertainment ‘destination attraction.’” Oh, well, you can’t please everybody. There were answers prefaced, “Hopefully,” and “hope” appeared fairly frequently in the mix. There were also “Taxed,” “Transformed,” “Exciting,” “Ashes (if there is a God),” “Booming...,” “Hot as a firecracker,” and, the word from that unreconstructed existentialist among us, “Here?”

And lastly, but not leastly:

6. What is the best thing about Downtown Knoxville?

“Classic architecture” comments led the pack, followed by “the right size,” “potential for growth,” and “walkability” and “middle of everything” answers. There were really no responses at all that were flipped to reveal negativity, even though there was one “Uhhhh?” The rest offered very positive aspects, from “Variety” and “Diversity” to “Its common folk” and “The river,” “Riverwalk,” and “Kids enjoy the waterfront.” The replies touched on nearly all the things a good downtown should hold for a city. Maybe best of all was the answer: “That we have one.”

May 20, 2004 • Vol. 14, No. 21 © 2004 Metro Pulse