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But Tee and Bob have to have their say

by Tony Basilio

I feel led, so just play along. As the '03 regular season winds down in the next couple of weeks, it's time to consider the plight of the talk show caller. Yes, the talk show caller. He who calls talk shows on a daily basis with the expressed goal of making great points. No, check that: making great arguments. No. OK. Here's to all the talk show callers who talk to hear themselves talk.

You know who you are. Knoxville's talk radio listening public knows who you are and on behalf of the ever-growing loyal masses, I would like to thank you. Yeah, and here's a question. Are you people serious?

I ask that from time to time on my local show heard locally on AM 850 from 3-6 weekdays. That's a lot of time to be on the air in one week. Believe it or not, there are a few folks who call in during my 15 hours on the air each week just to hear themselves talk. Living versions of In-A-Godda-Da-Vida if you will. You remember, the old Iron Butterfly tune that was about 15 minutes long that allowed rock dj's everywhere to stick on the record and take a break. That is what some regular callers do for me.

And just like Iron Butterfly, over time they become trite and dated. Man, are you boring me. Believe it or not, after the Mississippi State game, you know the one where Tennessee looked like Oklahoma (more on them later), I actually had a boob, ah, I mean caller call me and say the following:

"Tony. Did I hear you right? Did you just say this Tennessee team is getting better? Did you just say that this team is playing acceptable football?"

Before I reply to this drivel, let me explain a few things. First and foremost, this is a caller by the name of Tennessee Tee (his on-air name is changed here so as to protect his identity). Tennessee Tee has what most daily talk show callers possess—an agenda. Tee's agenda is to see that Phillip Fulmer is no longer the coach at the University of Tennessee at year's end. Tee could feel the momentum at mid-year toward his cause. Everyone was howling. People were ready to jump off the Gay Street Bridge, and Tee was calling every show in town to spread his propaganda. Tee was the Himler of the anti-Fulmer brigade.

Tee now has a problem. It's called public sentiment. Tee's favorite team, the Vols, is now on its annual November winning streak. Little did Tee know that the Large Orange would go to Miami and get a W. Much to Tee's chagrin, the Vols would follow the Miami conquest by hammering a very game and ever competitive, and well-coached Mississippi State team. You have to admire the way Jackie Sherrill coaches his boys up!

They hate that. When they speak in hyperbole, I come right back with crap of my own. It keeps the agenda-laden talk show caller on his heels. Mississippi State is terrible in every sense of the word. So is not admitting that Tennessee has improved as the year has progressed. The caller Tennessee Tee will be on the air in coming days looking for any evidence at all that Tennessee is regressing as the year goes on. Lots of luck Tee. The Vols look hot.

Which brings me to the other end of the talk show caller spectrum. Call him Mr. Rogers. On steroids. He's the caller who believes in his heart of hearts that the Vols can line up on any given Saturday and handily defeat...the Kansas City Chiefs. He's living in a dream world. And he is so fun on the air because he is lost in Big Orange love!

It wasn't two calls after Tee's that Bob chimed in wanting my opinion on this possible match-up: Tennessee versus Oklahoma. I offered this assessment: Oklahoma is better coached with better players, playing better football against better competition. Oklahoma would throw it down on Tennessee in a big way if these two teams faced each other. To this Bob replied as follows: "Going to disagree Tony. Oklahoma hasn't played anybody of Tennessee's caliber. Besides, the Vols are really hot and would beat the Sooners by three touchdowns. It wouldn't even be close." When I politely suggested that Bob put the alcohol down for the time being, he lashed out with, "Well, I guess you are going to cut me off now." He was right.

What made Bob's call so satisfying is that I've heard several others on various shows since Saturday who think that Tennessee could line up with Oklahoma. That warms my heart to know that there are enough talk show callers to go around. Folks who, to borrow a Biblical phrase, are blown to and fro by the winds of Big Orange doctrine. On one end of the spectrum there's Tee, on the other, Bob. The rest of us live in a place called sanity.

Have compassion for Tee and Bob. They are two fans with divergent opinions who are in dire need of something that most of us have. Someone to listen to them. I look forward to hearing from them this week and in the weeks ahead. Bring on the Sooners!

Tune in and talk sports with "The Tony Basilio Show" each weekday from 3-6 p.m. on the network (670 WMTY-AM, 850 WKVL-AM, 1140 WLOD-AM, 1290 WATO-AM, or 1400 WGAP-AM).