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The literary legacy of Gen-X parenting

by Katie Allison Granju

For a generation that ostensibly shuns labels, my own has carried quite a few of them. We were first christened "Generation X" in the early '90s in a novel by Douglas Coupland. Despite the fact that the title was intended as Coupland's ironic send-up of my peers' notable aversion to categorization, the label was quickly adopted by cultural pundits and marketing trend-spotters.

As we moved through our 20s, we took on the infamous "slacker" moniker in recognition of what society at large took to be an aimless lack of focus and ambition. As it turned out, however, we weren't slackers at all; by the late '90s, we were the driving force behind one of the splashiest economic booms in American history, thus earning our stripes as "dot-commers."

And today, Generation Xers—now ranging in age from late 20s to early 40s—have begun in droves to take on the most meaningful title of all: "parents." As ever-increasing numbers of Gen-Xers and our generational icons—including Conan O'Brian, Ben Stiller, George Stephanopolous, Liz Phair, Johnny Depp, Brooke Shields, David Duchovny, Kate Moss, Sarah Jessica Parker, Uma Thurman, Reese Witherspoon, and even "Rachel" on Friends—become parents, we find our focus shifting to our new roles as mothers and fathers.

Although there has been some debate as to who qualifies as a Gen-Xer, most demographers agree that those of us born between 1961 and 1976 qualify, with extra bonus points going to anyone who can name all the human characters in Land of the Lost (Sleestaks don't count) or rattle off all of Ted McGinley's sitcom credits.

Born in 1967, I fall within X's generational sweet spot. And like most of my Gen-X peers and colleagues, I am now a parent. Like many parents, I like to read about parenting. Of course, there have always been parenting books and magazines, but the majority of them have been prescriptive in nature, a la Dr. Spock and T. Barry Brazelton. My generation, however, has given birth to a burgeoning new genre of parenting writing that is far more honest, literary, funny, and provocative than the standard "be a perfect parent" advice tomes of years past.

As opposed to the parenting literature favored by our Baby Boomer parents and "Greatest Generation" grandparents, we Gen-Xers are more interested in reading about the experience of parenthood. Because of this, a whole new genre of nonfiction parenting literature—sometimes called "momoirs"—has erupted in the past or eight years, led by the confessional essays of Gen-X writers like my friend, former Knoxvillian Spike Gillespie.

Although there have been some terrific momoirs written in the recent past by non-Gen X writers—most notably Mary Kay Blakely, Marion Winik, Anne Lamott, and my personal patron saint, Erma Bombeck—it has been my generation that has taken this literary ball and run with it. From sex columnist Dan Savage's surprisingly sweet adoption memoir to urban hipster Ayun Halliday's hilarious The Big Rumpus: A Mother's Tales From the Trenches, the number of first-person parenting books from Gen-X writers has exploded so rapidly in the past five years that I feel certain that the next time I walk into Borders, I'll find a new "mama-lit" display set up next to the glaring pink "chick-lit" table.

While the how-to parenting books still lead the pack, it's clear from the runaway success of Vicki Iovine's first-person Girlfriend's Guide series, as well as Lamott's Operating Instructions: A Diary of My Son's First Year, that the tastes of the average buyer of parenting books are evolving as Gen-X hits its peak childbearing stride. A quick Amazon.com search for "parenting memoir" reveals more than 40 such books released in the past 36 months, and periodic perusal of Publisher's Weekly reveals dozens more in the works.

Additionally, two critically acclaimed small magazines—"Brain,Child," launched in 1999 by two Virginia mothers in their 30s, and "Hip Mama," launched by Ariel Gore in 1993—are wildly popular with Gen-X parents.

According to my friend Andrea Buchanan, a 32-year-old mother of two from Philadelphia, editor of Phillymama.com, and author of the new momoir, Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It (Seal Press/2003), these books are so popular with Gen X parents because our demographic simply doesn't have much interest in being instructed by experts in the "right" way to raise our children. Instead, notes Buchanan, we want to read about the myriad ways in which our peers are doing it and then choose from those approaches, buffet-style.

While the ultimate parenting legacy of Generation X won't be known for decades, I believe that we have already made our mark with our brutally honest and compelling approach to the cultural dialogue about childrearing. Similar to the third-wave feminist "consciousness raising" groups of the 1970s, in which women —many for the very first time—began revealing the honest realities of their lives, Gen-X parenting momoirs have once and for all opened the window on parenting, with all of is wit, pathos, ecstasy, and drudgery.

Katie Allison Granju is the author of Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child (Simon and Schuster/1999).