by Barry Henderson
Best of Knoxville 2003 brought with it a set of on-line bonus questions, posted on our website, including the open-ended query: "How can we improve Metro Pulse?"
Hundreds of reader responses were recorded, and if we did everything they asked us to do, we'd come out thicker than the Sunday New York Times, we'd do it every day, and we'd be there to hand it to them as they sit down for their morning coffee or their 5 o'clock beverage of choice.
Some of the requests, however, were more worthwhile. So the scores of "don't change a thing" commands, though gratifying, won't be honored. We're always changing, always trying to improve the paper.
There were lots of predictable importunings. "More News of the Weird" or "More Jack Neely." We expected those, and also the requests for home delivery, which we can't afford (except at www. metropulse.com), and for more thorough and comprehensive event-calendar listings. We are always striving to make our calendar more inclusive, and we won't let up. There were a surprising number of requests for more discount coupons from advertisers. Maybe it's the economy, or maybe there's just a set of readers who scan for coupons in all their favorite publications.
To the person who wants "free beer to go along with the free paper," nice try.
One of the more thoughtful and provocative of the reader suggestions was this: "Have articles less 'from the hip' and more easily understandable by [the] 'non-in-the-know'... The stories should have importance to all of our area, not just the five people who thought them up."
Every news outlet suffers somewhat from the penchant to assume that its consumers are so regular and attentive that they understand the background of things being reported on a continuing basis or are aware of some inside joke aired in the recent past. We may be guiltier than most publications of those sins of assumption, and we need to work to correct that tendency.
There were plenty of good ideas, such as for us to "have more family-friendly activities posted/advertised," and for us to publish a sort of clearinghouse page for volunteer opportunities, which we've thought of, but have yet to execute or find a sponsor for.
Several suggested we review concerts, as we do theater and film. The concerts are over and gone by the time we publish, while our reviews of theatricals and other continuing performances are useful to readers who may want to attend, or pass up, the shows we critique.
Speaking of passing up opportunities, we do not believe we'll undertake the singular proposal that we "organize a campaign to bring the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame to Knoxville (before Pigeon Forge gets it)."
We would, as one reader recommended, "hire some good right-wing, red-necked, fat old white guys like me to offset some of the long-haired, hippie-type left-wingers you've got writing for you," but every time we've tried that, the new hire converts to our lean, clean-shaven, politically correct and sophisticated, middle-of-the-road perspective in a matter of weeks. It's just not worth the recruiting effort.
Along with the improvement question were a few others. The readers' ideas of the "best thing that used to be?" around Knoxville included a thriving, vibrant downtown, a mud-free Market Square, a World's Fair Park that works as a park, clean air, and the recently departed Kalamata Kitchen. Most of those answers were repeated in the "what will be someday?" section. And the "best thing here, period?" question drew wildly eclectic responses, but lots of "mountains," "lakes," "people," and "UT and its sports" answers.
Even so, the "How 'bout them Vols?" question's replies are best not repeated here or in any other public forum.
A question of "what comics you'd like to see in Metro Pulse?" brought way more "none" answers than actual suggestions. And the question asked as a special concession to our own JoJo the Webmonkey, "What do you think of turning Krutch Park into a world-class monkey garden?" brought just the kind of wacky responses one might expect. Save one. A reader asked us—then answered—in one breath, "Are you kidding? Is that for real? I would hate it."
One thing we can say for sure. We aren't putting Metro Pulse out every week for anyone who's that gullible.
April 24, 2003 * Vol. 13, No. 17
© 2003 Metro Pulse
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