Metro Pulse/Ear to the Ground

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Premature Ejection?

A portrait of a young and smiling Victor Ashe has joined the pantheon of heroes on the wall on the sixth floor of the City County Building, and hangs just to the right of a young and smiling Kyle Testerman, who hangs to the right of a young and smiling Randy Tyree. This is not remarkable, because Ashe is counting down the days of his lame duck year as mayor. And since it is common knowledge that the globe-trotting Ashe bitterly opposed the term limits referendum that has cut short his tenure as mayor at a paltry 16 years, it strikes some as odd that the dates on the painting marking Knoxville's Victor-ian Age are "January 1, 1988—December 18, 2003, thus depriving the Ashe administration of a couple of precious days (the official end of the current mayoral term is Dec. 20). There are several possible explanations for the discrepancy. One wag (who demands anonymity) has a pet theory: "Maybe he's going to be out of town."

Smoke that Cigarette

Periodically, there are well-publicized reports of local establishments getting in trouble for selling controlled stuff (beer and cigarettes) to minors. Repeat offenders are hauled before city and county beer boards, who decide on the kind of punishment to be meted out. Conscientious proprietors who follow the rules and don't get into trouble don't get much credit for it. A usually reliable Ear informant means to remedy this injustice. Here is his story:

"Last Tuesday evening at the Weigel's on Summit Hill Drive a man came to the counter to purchase a pack of cigarettes.

'May I see your ID please,' asked the clerk.

'You want to see ID from me?' asked the slightly astonished customer.

'I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but we ID every purchase of tobacco or beer to make sure we do not sell underage,' came the reply. Metro Pulse publisher, quick wit and nicotine fiend Joe Sullivan shot back a quick retort:

'Well, how about my Medicare card? Will that do?'"

The usually reliable source reports that Joe's plight had everyone in the place in stitches.

A Good Sport, But...

West Knoxville developer Wallace McClure had some questions for the Knox County Election Commission last week that folks thinking that a prominent new name was about to be added to the list of City Council candidates. McClure wanted to pick up a qualifying petition in behalf of Haywood Harris, longtime University of Tennessee sports information director. Turns out that petitions can only be issued to the candidate him/herself, so we called the affable Harris, who is a very popular guy and would likely be considered a formidable candidate. Harris said some friends of his came up with the idea at a recent dinner party, and that he'd given it consideration, but decided that he wouldn't enjoy the fund-raising chores associated with making such a race. Thanks, but no thanks, said Haywood.

Buy It, but Don't Wear It

Connie Storm, a former downtown business owner who describes herself as "an active member of the Gothic community in Knoxville," favors nonconformist neckwear, specifically spiked collars of a sort you've probably seen at the mall. Anyway, Storm was doing some shopping at Knoxville Center last Wednesday when a female security guard stopped her and informed her that she'd have to remove the collar "since the mall is under an orange alert for terrorism and I could use this piece of jewelry as a weapon."

That contingency in itself might seem just a little peculiar; it seems as if the safest place for a spiked collar might be on one's neck, unless an evildoer plans to fling his or herself, neck foremost, at an innocent civilian. However, what made the guard's demand seem intolerable to Storm was that she had bought the collar in another Simon mall. And as she proved, Spencer's Gifts at Knoxville Center sells the same sort of spiked collars that the mall's security guard found objectionable for her to wear. Her boyfriend pointed out that irony to the mall's manager who, after some discussion, allowed the pair to continue their shopping trip.

Rice and Bean-Os

The eagerly awaited downtown food outlet, Tortilla Mac's Mexicana Grill, opened yesterday on Union Avenue at State Street in the little diner building that formerly housed JoAnne's place. Harold McLean, former food service director at Fort Sanders Hospital, is the owner. He's painted the exterior barn-red. The place has six 2-person tables inside but no counter stools. He's counting on mostly take-out trade at first and expects to add delivery in a month or so to downtown offices ordering eight or more luncheon entrees at a time. On the menu are California-style burritos, tacos, nachos, nacho salads and an unusual taco soup.

Kalamata Calamity

The popular and seemingly successful Kalamata Kitchen in Farragut is closed, along with the former Little Kalamata Kitchen, which converted a few months ago to the Hot Tamale, in Western Plaza. Jim and Lori Klonaris, the owners, are keeping the Tijuana Taco in Farragut open, but the loss of the Kalamata is going hard on lovers of Greek specialties. One regular customer who asked Jim K. what he was supposed to do with the $30 gift certificate to the Kalamata that his wife received in December, says Jim answered good naturedly, "Maybe you could frame it."

Shh!

The Knox County Library's starting to sound like the CIA. About six weeks after our story about the library's struggle with an allegedly manipulative and apparently underqualified interim director, librarians got a memo from the said interim director, whose name is Charles Davenport.

"To facilitate a positive working environment," he wrote, "let me remind you of the Professional Attitude and Conduct section of the Staff Manual...'Criticism of Library policies, services, personnel, or working conditions should be made only to the supervisor, department manager, or Director.... Under no circumstances should internal matters be discussed with Library users or others not employed by the Library.'"

Namely, reporters. Davenport goes on to offer employees a new incentive to be good, "a monthly drawing for a $25 gift certificate from a local restaurant." Librarians reportedly find the edict especially frustrating because Davenport has not been calling the usual staff meetings where grievances and suggestions are typically aired. One staffer has interpreted the library's strange new policy as Don't talk to anybody about anything.

For the record, this memo came to us via someone other than the 20-odd librarians who were critical of Davenport in our Oct. 24 story. This time they're reluctant to talk about a recent concern, a mysterious new staffer hired without a job-opening announcement, which appears to be, at best, a breach of procedure.

Animal House, Part Two

As always, there are a lot of unusual bills floating around the Legislature this year. Our favorite is the one that outlaws the watching of pornographic videos on car televisions that can be seen by passing drivers. Another that merits note is the proposal, Senate Bill 1636, that says that any university that has fraternity houses on its campus also has to make way for sorority houses. We're not sure if this bill would change anything; Metro Pulse spoke to officials at UT, ETSU, Sewanee, and Vanderbilt and couldn't find anyone opposed to the bill. "We have no concerns about the proposal," says UT lobbyist Tom Ballard. We can only hope that the proposal gets a lot of discussion during the next few weeks of budget cuts. In the spirit of other landmark proposals such as "Any Willing Provider" and "Any Willing Doctor," Senate Bill 1636 should be referred to as: "Any Willing Sorority."