Only you can stop street renamings
by Jack Neely
West Knoxville is obviously hurting for a heritage. Otherwise it wouldn't have to make so much heritage up, with all its Barringtons, Carringtons, Darringtons, and Farringtons (will there be a
Larrington?), and quaint spellings, like pointe, so archaic they would have puzzled John Sevier's granddaddy.
But, if you look closely here and there, you can find a few names of real people who lived here. One is on a small road on the sunny side of Bearden Hill. It's just a short, one-block road between Kingston Pike and Deane Hill Drive, next to the Chinese restaurant. It's not much more than a service alley, but it's known as Keener Drive.
The Keeners were once prominent in Bearden. Bruce Keener (1859-1929) was co-founder and longtime executive for the hardware concern C.M. McClung Co., one of Knoxville's biggest wholesale firms during the city's boomtown years. In 1904, Mr. Keener moved into the hilltop antebellum mansion known as Knollwood. Back then, Kingston Pike skirted this hill to the south; Keener Drive might have approximated the Keeners' driveway.
It was a lively, multi-generation household, which produced several interesting kids. Keener's grandson, Bruce
Holloway, was a World War II flying ace and later four-star air-force general. As commander of the Strategic Air Command during the height of the Cold War, Holloway became the most trusted Knoxville native in history. He was born in that house and spent his childhood here. His middle name was Keener.
Though it's not much of a road, Keener Drive bears one of the few genuinely historical street names in West Knoxville. But Mayor Victor Ashe, consistent with his quest to honor college-football heroes, wants to change it to Gerald R. Ford Street.
Gerald R. Ford is an admirable fellow. I voted for him in 1976, and if he's rested enough to run for the Republican nomination in 2004, I will again. I went to a Halloween party last year disguised as Gerald R. Ford, and never have I been more warmly welcomed. Everybody likes Gerald R. Ford. He caused less trouble than any other president in several decades, and people appreciate that.
Naming a street for him would make for a little bit of uniqueness for Knoxville. After all, how many cities can say they have a street named for Gerald R. Ford? Not many, I'll bet. It might help us attract the Gerald R. Ford Fan Club to meet at the Convention Center. They should make ideal conventioneers: affluent, reasonable folks who will keep our caddies and purveyors of steak and potatoes busy, and still not keep us awake after 9.
Gerald R. Ford never lived here, but he did visit us a couple of times. He held a day-long press conference at the Hyatt in 1975. A couple of years before that, when he was just Nixon's vice-president designate, Mayor Kyle Testerman met Ford at the airport and bestowed upon him the inestimable gift of honorary citizenship. Somewhere deep in the Gerald R. Ford Collection, there's a plaque to that effect. But, to be frank, I'm not confident that former President Ford thinks of himself as a Knoxvillian.
Street renaming in itself causes problems. The practice can be confusing for historians and EMTs, and it's downright traumatic for mapmakers and tour-guide writers. (I know one in Colorado who's pretty fed up with Knoxville at this point; he sounds like maybe he's ready to write us out of the state.)
Naming streets for living people is especially controversial. In America, it's usually just corny, but elsewhere in the world, it's a symptom of Nazism, Communism, or the influence of mustachioed dictators.
In some European nations, naming streets for living people is considered so dangerous it's banned by law. I'd propose that City Council pass similar proscriptions for Knoxville.
I don't lose much sleep worrying that Gerald R. Ford will become Reichsführer of Tennessee, though if the state lapses into anarchy after June 30, anything is possible. What concerns me more is the corniness aspect. Naming streets for live people is something they do out in Fleabit Holler.
Besides, what's wrong with the old name? Here's what I think: Street renamings should come only if a jury of scholars and municipal promoters decides there's a significant problem with a street name, one that can be solved only with a new one.
I can think of a couple of examples of bad Knoxville street names. First would be a short street on UT's campus, "Lake Loudoun Boulevard," which is none of the above. Riverboat pilots and rowing coaches tell me that the water near here is no lake, nor anything like a lake. And if it were a lake, there's no good reason it should be named for the Earl of Loudoun, a lazy, profligate Englishman who distrusted Americans.
Finally, Lake Loudoun Boulevard is a short street with no median. It's not a boulevard or anything like a boulevard; these signs must cause Parisians to snicker. Maybe this would be a better candidate to honor our least-troublesome president. Name it Calvin Coolidge Way, and it would be an improvement.
But let's lay off our rare street names that are actually historic. I have a request of the citizens of Knoxville: the temporary ones who are UT athletes, and the honorary ones like you, Mr. Ford. When you get your letter from Victor Ashe informing you that he's naming a street for you, just say no. Knoxvillians of the future will be grateful that you took a stand against whimsical street renaming. Maybe they'll even name a new street in your honor.
June 20, 2002 * Vol. 12, No. 25
© 2002 Metro Pulse
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