Metro Pulse/Ear to the Ground

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Now that's Dogwood Art!

For the last several months, PBA supporters of the Worsham Watkins plan for parts of downtown warned about the consequences of not taking a stronger hand in controlling the quality of retail on Market Square. "Market Square is Knoxville's living room," said former PBA head Mike Edwards. "We don't want any T-shirt vendors there."

We take back any skepticism we might have expressed about Edwards' worst-case scenario. One of the largest and most conspicuous arts-and-crafts booths at this year's Dogwood Arts Festival has been parked all week right in front of Lula's outdoor patio. It's a long, battered yellow truck called "Totally Impressed." They sell T-shirts. Inspiring African wildlife T-shirts and cute Garfield T-shirts, yet. One says, "I have two moods. BEFORE coffee and after coffee." Another says, "I'm a casualty on the information superhighway."

You'd better hurry—it's this art truck's Blowout Sale! After this week, you'll have to go all the way to Pigeon Forge to find this level of traditional Appalachian craftwork.

You Can Believe Everything You Read

Internet rumors aren't always reliable, but last week's report that Hogan's Bakery owner Roy Brown had bought out the old Blue Moon Bakery in the Old City just to get its bread-baking equipment—and that Brown planned the recent move to a West Knoxville location all along—turned out, unfortunately, to be right on.

The report was initially posted on the K2K email group, where it was accompanied by threats of a boycott in response to Brown's perceived abandonment of the in-town residents who had supported Hogan's. Other K2Kers wanted to give Brown the benefit of the doubt, offering the generous view that the move may well have been prompted by the mercurial reality of business in the Old City.

But Brown confirmed last week that he never intended to stay in the Old City when he signed a short-term lease with building owner Kyle Testerman last February.

"I only did it to get the equipment," Brown said when asked about the reason for the move.

The bakery, now located on Middlebrook Pike, is currently operating only as a wholesale outlet. Brown is looking to reopen the retail bakery at a Bearden location soon.

Dead or Alive?

Despite Tuesday's News-Sentinel report that "talk on the street" says the justice center is "dead," nobody really knows anything about County Executive Tommy Schumpert's plans for the project. Schump says he's still "at least a month" away from making a proposal. In the meantime, County Commissioner John Schmid adds one more possibility to the half-dozen theories already in circulation about whether there'll be a new jail and/or courts complex and where they'll go: "I heard there's some space in the Whittle Building they're looking at—whoever 'they' are. It's the elusive 'they.'"

Dennis Gentry, building manager at the former Whittle complex (now the federal courts building), says he hasn't had any talks with local officials. But he says, "We do have some vacant space, yes. We are looking at some options."

Short People

Pat Summitt isn't famous for being sedate along the sidelines while the clock is running, but she is a model of decorum compared to her Connecticut counterpart, the famously profane Geno Auriemma, who, in the waning seconds of the national championship game, with victory assured for his team, erupted into a running hissy fit. His assistant coach attempted to restrain him, Honeymooners style, but the national TV audience didn't have to be lip-readers to figure out that he was accusing someone in Summitt's general direction of having "no ——— class."

This week, Summitt said she had no idea to whom he was speaking, or to what he was referring. Disappointed, Ear conceded it might be just as well, since there are words even Metro Pulse will not print.

Summitt had a suggestion:

"You could say it begins with an F and ends with a K and isn't firetruck," she said.

Yeah. That could work.