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Finding Time
Alan Elazer found a watch on the locker room floor at Fort Sanders Health and Fitness Center, and he left his phone number at the desk.
"I knew it was a Rolex, and I knew it was real, so I didn't want to just leave it there," he says. How did he know it was the real deal?
"You have to watch the second hand. If it clicks, it's a fake. If it sweeps nonstop, it's a Rolex, at least that's what I always heard you should look for when you're buying one on the streets of New York."
Turns out that lawyer Greg "Sweet Face" Isaacs had just finished working out and was heading home when he realized he was missing his $7,500 Rolex. He stewed at little, then resigned himself to the loss.
"I told my wife that I'd paid for the watch by defending people who break the law..." But then he got a call from Fort Sanders.
Elazer, who is minister of music at Concord United Methodist Church, happily reunited Isaacs with his watch, and the grateful lawyer made him a promise in return:
"He said if I ever killed anybody he'd represent me for free," Elazer says.
Dog Days
The last time Ray Hill got written up on this page, it was to report the death of his beloved Fergie, an astute but somewhat cranky Scottie who had accompanied him on many adventures in government. We are pleased to report that County Executive Tommy Schumpert's last staff meeting was attended by Archie, Hill's new Scottie pup, who showed early signs of fiscal acuity by spending most of the meeting on the lap of county Finance Director Kathy Hamilton.
Daddy Needs a New Pair of Shoes
If you hear that Lynn Duncan's going to Vegas, you might just want to invite yourself along. Or at least rub her head for luck. Last week's edition of Time magazine carried a section called "Financial Affairs," which consisted of interesting tidbits gleaned from Congressional financial disclosures: "Financial disclosures reveal a new side of some Congress members." Our own Jimmy Duncan made the list as "the "Guy who married well" when he reported that his wife won $5,200 "on a slot machine."
The Funk of July
Knoxville's Independence Day celebration was a rousing success, though we had some concerns about it early on. It was a blisteringly hot day, and there was no beer to be had on site; this was, after all, a "family" celebration. But we happened to observe a peculiar phenomenon. The festival had been underway for a few hours when a couple hundred predominantly elderly folks had arrived at the Tennessee Amphitheater early to get out of the sun and secure some good seats for the patriotic pops concert. Just after 6 p.m., as they sat and ate their watermelon with their flag-waving grandkids, over the amphitheater's PA was some unconventional holiday music: Loud funk/rap music, with this rousing chorus, "You funk wit' me, I'll funk with you! You funk wit' me, I'll funk you too!" It went on like that for long enough to eat a half a watermelon, with only the subtlest variations in the lyrics. The WIVK frog danced as the patriotic audience waited politely. It was still going on like that when we left on a futile effort to find a beer in downtown Knoxville on a holiday Sunday.
TV Mique
Look for Chamique Holdsclaw's guest spot next Sunday on HBO's Arliss, a series about a sports agent.
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