Welcome to Our World
In response to the "Love Thy Neighbor" letter from Amy Kellner in the June 10 issue, I find it both amusing and discouraging that Ms. Kellner displays such vitriol when she admits that she is "not a regular Metro Pulse reader." I read every issue of Metro Pulse and have found it to be informative, humorous, and interesting.
I am neither tattooed, homosexual, nor a Marilyn Manson fan, and I have no body piercings. However, I believe that people have the right to be and to do what they want so long as it does not harm others. Ms. Kellner (who seems somewhat punctuation-challenged; have you ever seen so many exclamation marks in one letter?) calls herself a Christian and even states that her preacher helped her write her letter. She says, "I thought you people loved everybody." Funny—that's what I was taught is the hallmark of the Christian faith. Using terms such as "pierced freaks," "a weirdo like her who probably likes Marilyn Manson," and "bleeding heart malcontents" flies in the face of the very basis of Christianity, which is acceptance of all people no matter what their personal likes and dislikes may be.
Keep up the good work. Some of us appreciate you.
Gayle Cunningham
Knoxville
The Truth Revealed
With a tremendous sense of flattery, I read Amy Kellner's letter in response to my article "A Safe, Well-Lighted Place." However, let me make a few things clear. My name is Mrs. Becky Napier White, not Miss Becky Napier White. Secondly, I am not a fan of Marilyn Manson though I harbor a healthy appreciation for the '70s glam rock of which he is so derivative. I absolutely stand by my insulting attitude towards the fraternity and sorority system because I think that a club which exists to keep out the poor and unattractive folks (nobody swallows the "We are really a service organization" line) really lacks imagination.
Other than that, Kellner was absolutely accurate in her criticism. It's time to confess to all of Knoxville, I was indeed using my pulpit to promote alternative lifestyles because (drumroll) The Knoxville Gays United have chosen ME as their hired gun to take over the city. Do you think they would be so obvious as to choose a showtune-humming, Stonewall-marching waver of the rainbow flag? Being a heterosexual homemaker and mother (my toddler watches Teletubbies with great regularity), I am just unlikely enough to pull off their twisted agenda!
Ever wonder why a group of cootchie-loving he-men like our Knoxville leaders would approve something so blantantly phallic as the Sunsphere? Despite being only nine years old at the time, I brainwashed the city government into erecting (heh, heh) a giant penis-shaped building as a way of saying "Welcome, all you early '80s gays and lesbians!"
The plan's next phase was to convert our many Southern Baptist churches into bathhouses since they were already equipped with baptismals for fun in the water. Alas, it never came to fruition because The Knoxville Bestiality Practitioners United saw what a swell job I did with the Sunsphere and gave me double the money to work for them. Ever wonder why our esteemed mayor was given such a dub as "Bulldog"? I figured if folks associated a sexy powerbroker like Victor Ashe with bulldogs, they were just that much closer to copulating with them.
Whoops! There goes my beeper. The Knoxville Necrophilia Practitioners United seems interested in a spokeswoman. Looks like Jack Neely's The Marble City was released at just the right time!
Becky Napier White
Louisville
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