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Ever Meet a Meter Reader?
Or wonder about the secret life of your meter man, the one who slips silently into your yard and measures the amount of power you've consumed every month? You may never look at him the same way again, thanks to a new movie set in that cultural hub of Knoxville, talent-rich Lincoln Park, where filmmaker Roger Bourdeau and kid actor Brad Renfro live a few doors apart on Chicamauga Avenue. Bourdeau says he and Renfro hooked up via the good offices of the neighborhood UPS man, who said they ought to get together. They did, and soon were collaborating on a script Renfro had but didn't like much. They got it where they wanted it, Bourdeau scraped together a little money, and they shot The Meter Man for $3,000. Bourdeau describes it this way:
"It's an 18-page script about a delinquent 20-year-old meter man who peeps in people's windows..." Also featured in this day-in-the-life film are Steve Dupree who plays a guy who dies before the meter man's peeping eyes; Angel Collins, who plays a drag queen; and Sam "Hollywood" Sharp (the "Stuff Hauled Off" guy). R.B. Morris, who lives one street over on Hiawassee, did the score, and Lincoln Park neighbors let Renfro peek into their windows. Bourdeau will be marketing the film and entering it in indie festivals.
A Dung Deal
It's springtime for football and Tennessee, so it's football time in Halls. The annual Red and White game will kick off at 6:30 p.m. Friday May 14, followed by the Stadium Club's annual Donkey Drop, formerly known as the Cow Drop. You may remember the event, which consists of marking the football field off into squares, each corresponding with one of the 100 tickets given out by boosters for $50 donations. (Note: the tickets aren't "sold," nor "bought." They are "given" in return for "donations" and therefore do not constitute "gambling.") Used to be, a couple of big cows were turned out onto the field and allowed to wander around, feasting on Coach Gary Shephard's carefully tended grass while ticket-holders in the stands waited to see where the cows would do that voodoo that they (usually) do so well. The grand prize, $2,000, was to go to the owner of the ticket bearing the number of the square where the cows did their business.
Only problem was, the cows declined to crap on command.
"Those cows ran all over the damn field," grumbled Shephard. "Killed the grass." So the following year, the boosters pioneered the use of donkeys, who, alas, have turned out to be no more full of it than the cows, but are easier on the turf.
The Scenic Route
The K-Town Smartass has struck again. After a dormant period following his endorsement of Knoxville as the World Parking Garage Vacation Capital, he was moved by County Commission's approval of twirling, motorized billboards on the Pellissippi Parkway (Commissioner John Mills pronounced them "kindly attractive" and highly "technological"), so KTS hopped on his fax machine yet again:
"Lamar Agrees to be Voice of God
"Knoxville, Tenn.—In a bold move designed to increase visibility in the billboard industry, Lamar Advertising has signed a contract with God, who has agreed to communicate exclusively through Lamar.
"God's first message was posted by Lamar on a billboard readable from the westbound lanes of Interstate 40 in downtown Knoxville.
"A spokesperson in Louisiana, who asked not to be identified, said that God, who wanted to use modern communication methods, was buying high-traffic boards on major interstates.
"The spokesperson said the deal was also good for Lamar, who has received much criticism through the years for the work it has done for the Devil.
"'Plus it helps us sell more boards and that allows us to meet the number one goal of an out-of-state billboard company—to move as much money as possible from Tennessee to Louisiana.'
"Lamar has reportedly pitched God on a scheme to use its new tri-vision billboard on Pellissippi Parkway for a Father, Son and Holy Ghost promotion."
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