Some Tostitos With That Whine?

Feeling all orange-y over the Fiesta Bowl? Here's a shot of sour grape to wash down that euphoria. The following excerpts are from a day-after column by Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer entitled "Tennessee champion by default." (Note: Ohio State fans have been raising a mighty whimper over not winning the championship to which they somehow deem themselves entitled, despite a home field loss to mediocre Michigan State).

"TEMPE, Ariz. The creators of the Bowl Championship Series said their invention would provide a clear-cut champion, and now we're wondering why we needed one. Crowning Tennessee for what it accomplished last night seems a little ... generous.

"The Volunteers were better than Florida State, all right. They didn't have a 10-play, 10-yard drive. They didn't have more penalty yards than rushing yards. Their quarterback completed a few passes longer than his arm..."

"You have to assume the Fiesta Bowl—excuse me, and how could I forget?—the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl was a success... As a vehicle of commerce, it was a Maserati. As an artistic endeavor, it was a work of fingerpaint..."

"'Whoa, no, Nellie,' as Keith Jackson might have put it. And probably did..."

"The Seminoles tried all sorts of foolery to mask (quarterback Marcus) Outzen's shortcomings: Reverses, fake reverses, lateral-passes, possibly a hidden ball trick or two. But the national championship is no place for a kid to be starting his third college game...

"Well, someone had to win.

"Florida State: Down and Outzen.

"For awhile, the Vols matched the 'Noles, feeble for feeble. 'Stumblin' and fumblin' Jackson might have said. And probably did.

"There will be some years a definitive champion must be crowned. This wasn't one of them.

"Enquirer columnist Paul Daugherty welcomes your comments at 768-8454."

You'll have to look up the area code yourself.

Bring in Da Noise

Speaking of sports, watch for the college women's Game of the Year (at least for the regular season) Sunday when the Lady Vols travel to Connecticut to take on UConn. The Huskies, who boast an undefeated team, have hired hyperventilating wrestling announcer Michael ("Are You Ready to Rummmmmmmmbblllllleeee") Buffer to incite the crowd. Watch for LV Semeka Randall to be the target of much abuse. Last year Randall, who was named Player of the Game against UConn here in Knoxville, thanked the large and raucous crowd for "scaring" UConn. Word got back to UConn Coach Geno Auriemma, who went postal, spewing deletable expletives and X-rated bile at Randall and the Tennessee coaching staff. Randall will have a hard way to go.

Passages

City Councilman Nick Pavlis is still looking to be named head of the Knoxville Convention and Visitors Bureau (a post vacated by Mike Wilds last year amid much debate about the position's status vis a vis the omnipresent Chamber Partnership). And if he is, Pavlis says he will not stand for re-election to Council this year. A decision is due in February. Former State Sen. Bud Gilbert, meanwhile, is due to say yea or nay to a mayoral bid against Victor Ashe sometime this month. And Charles Whitehead, administrative assistant to the superintendent of schools and a former principal of Austin-East High School, has retired. Whitehead, who wanted no announcement prior to his retirement, has been replaced by Walter Mencer, an assistant principal at West High.