Virtual Victor

Victor Ashe, as we all know, was dancing around Greece while the rest of Knoxville was celebrating Boomsday. But attendees at the big Labor Day fireworks show probably thought he was right there with them, because of his pre-pyrotechnic welcoming speech. "We're so glad to see everybody here at the riverfront," Ashe's voice boomed out over the bombs bursting in air. But the rockets' red glare gave proof through the night that our mayor was not there. Oh say, does that recording so much as hint that Ashe was occupied elsewhere? Nope. Maybe next year they should get a blowup doll. But that will likely not be necessary during an election year.

Virtual Charles

The chief building official holds the ultimate responsibility for seeing that building codes get followed. Charles Cummins, Knoxville's longtime CBO, helped write the codes, and has a reputation for being methodical, by-the-book, and scrupulously fair. He is known nationally. He is also serving a 30-day suspension (for allegedly failing to supervise an employee who was behind in her filing). Cummins works for the Department of Development, which does not enjoy a record for being methodical, by-the-book, and scrupulously fair (recall that its last director returned to her office and approved legally suspect billboard permits five days after her resignation). City spokespersons did not respond to questions about Cummins' whereabouts, and those who call his office are being told he's "on leave."

Bad Bill

Recently-retired County Commissioner Bee DeSelm, lawyers Mike Moyers and Dennis Francis, and columnist Theotis Robinson were panelists at the September meeting of the Tennessee Conservative Union on Tuesday. The Topic: Should Clinton be impeached? Not surprisingly, the members and guests present overwhelmingly answered yes, with a few preferring censure, some favoring resignation and one vote for neutering him. DeSelm's take on the current unpleasantness in the White House?

"Sex addicts ought to just marry each other and leave the rest of us alone."

Horner Hacked

County Commissioner Mary Lou Horner has been on the warpath since County Commission replaced David Swanner on the county Bond Board last month with banker Dan Hogan at the request of Superchamber deputy Don Parnell, who said Swanner had resigned. When Horner learned that Swanner's term is good through the year 2000, she commenced raising her own patented brand of hell, causing the usually fiery Parnell to call her and explain. "He groveled," Horner said. "He put the blame on Jack Hammontree (the former president of the former Chamber of Commerce)." Horner will sponsor a resolution putting Swanner back on the board this month.

Tumblin' Along with the Tumblin' Tumbleweeds

Neyland Drive will be one-way after Saturday's ball game, routing traffic west toward Kingston Pike, and struggling Old City business people are keeping their fingers crossed for the weekend. Traffic routes have been reconfigured due to the construction on the east end of Neyland and on the downtown loop—giving the Old City folks an uncomfortable feeling of deja vu. Same thing happened last year, and Hugh Ray Wilson remembers a party of 30 South Carolina fans no-showing at Hoo-Rays because only two of them could figure out how to get there from the stadium. Frank Gardner, owner of Jackson Avenue Market and Manhattan's, says business was "terrible" during football season last year, and that he's hoping for help in the form of directional signs this year. Hoo-Ray's, by the way, is no longer open.