Strike-Outs

The crowning irony of this year's elections will come about if Gail Stone Harris Jarvis is elected Criminal Court judge. Jarvis' campaign primarily consists of attacks on incumbent Richard Baumgartner over the case of accused murderer Thomas "Zoo Man" Huskey. Baumgartner was assigned the case in 1995 and has presided over two trials during which Huskey was convicted of five rape charges and sentenced to more than 60 years imprisonment. Jarvis accuses Baumgartner of dragging the case on for "over five years."

Beyond her math, there are other problems. Canon 3, Section 9 of the Supreme Court Rules forbid judges from making comments "that might reasonably be expected to affect" the outcome of pending cases. There's also Rule 10 from the Code of Judicial Conduct, which forbids judges from "making statements that commit or appear to commit the candidate with respect to cases...that are likely to come before the court."

The aforementioned irony is that Huskey's murder trial is set for trial Sept. 14 in Baumgartner's court, and is guaranteed to be delayed if Jarvis wins. Defense attorneys Herb Moncier and Greg Isaacs have already filed a gag order asking that Jarvis be stopped from running commercials commenting on the case. Other defense attorneys are collecting Jarvis' "One Strike" matchbooks, upon the backs of which Jarvis promises to clap criminals into the pokey for "violations of bond, probation or parole." Problem here is Criminal Court judges have no jurisdiction over parole, which is meted out by the state Department of Corrections. "We're all scooping up these matchbooks by the handful," says one criminal defense attorney. "We're all saving them to attach to motions if she gets elected."

Waiting for Bud

Not in attendance at Victor Ashe's impromptu announcement that he's going to run for a fourth term as mayor was likely opponent Bud Gilbert, who evidently wasn't particularly intimidated by a testimonial to Ashe's vast popularity by Ashe's pollster:

"That poll is about as useful as the decorative lights on the Henley Bridge—very expensive and just for show," says Gilbert. "Polls like that are meaningless unless there's an opposing candidate and the opponent's platform is known. And, by the way, aren't those the same pollsters who told us unification was going to pass?"

When asked about his own plans for 1999, Gilbert said he's still undecided, but that several people who attended the mayor's breakfast announcement have called to urge him to run.

Liberal Extremists on the Rampage!

It came in an ominous-looking yellow envelope marked "Urgent." What could it be? You're about to be arrested? Turned over to a collection agency? Got a bad Pap smear?

Nope. It's something called an "Express Gram." Further examination reveals "an important message from (County Commission Chairman) John Griess...," who says "I need your help one last time."

"While normally I wouldn't be concerned about my Democratic opponent, it now appears he is running a full-blown campaign—backed by a small group of fanatical activists who want to restrict your rights as a property holder.

"This same group, according to my sources, plans on spending thousands of dollars during the last few days before the election in an attempt to surprise us...." Griess asks for contributions to combat this "small group of liberal extremists." (In Farragut, no less.)

The Democratic candidate is Eddie Benson.

High Voltage

One of the more expensive campaigns in next week's elections is being waged on behalf of a proposition that seemingly has no opposition. KUB is spending $50,000 to push approval of changes in its charters that it claims will "give KUB the competitive edge to keep rates low." The charter changes look fine to us, but the spending (which, ahem, included some ads in Metro Pulse) seems a little dubious.