How to Win Friends and Influence People
Another bit of advice from the Hate Mail Bag:

I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you how envious I am of your view. No, not the one from your office window, but rather the one of the environs inside your butt. Apparently you're quite taken with it, too, considering how much time your and your music writers' heads spend there.

As a faithful Metro Pulse music section reader, I've got to tell you guys that you just don't get it. Although your writers show some promise, it's the subject matter that's lacking, namely your choice of bands. You guys must see something in them the rest of Knoxville doesn't see because you cover the same ones all the time.

Granted, Boy Genius, 30 Amp Fuse, and Superdrag are good, but there are so many local bands busting their asses in garages all over town that deserve as much recognition as any hometown "power pop" rock band. It seems a little self-serving of your writers to keep doing articles on these bandwagonesque, cookie-cutter bands, as if one of them will finally hit the big time (and stay there), so that person can say, "Yea, I did a piece on them before Rolling Stone. Check it out."

Well, let me tell you about a band that's not so run-of-the-mill. Their name is Cat O'Nine Tales and believe me, you'll be hearing a lot more from them soon. I, as a representative of the local listening audience, am tired of the trendy "power-pop, aggro-funk groove if we throw in some horns and cut our hair short" type of scene that you guys are into.

We Knoxvillians want our rock, and we want it louder than hell! I caught this new band last week at the Longbranch, and they knocked me on my ass! I was so impressed, I talked to them after their set and found they're really a great bunch of guys (and girls—pretty alternative, huh?).

Although I had never heard of them before, you can bet I'll keep an "eye on the scene" for them now. I hear New Rock might start playing their stuff, too. I'm sure if these guys just get some recognition, others are going to want to hear them, also.

Granted, these guys don't have funny names like "G-Leather" or "Johnny Flame." They don't live in the Fort and aren't part of the "cool clique." They don't play neo-country rock with big guitars or sound like the Beatles. They are just kickin' ass, takin' names, and playing rock 'n' roll with heart, the way the local audience really wants it.

Do yourself and the scene a favor. Wipe off, go down and see them, and write about this band before they get away.

Sincerely,
A real local music fan

Zippy responds: Is this "real local music fan" alone or are we Metro Pulseans completely missing the local music scene mark? You tell us. But we do ask that you be specific about the bands and the news that you feel we're missing out on. Put together your list of genuine (in other words, performing or recording) local musicians and send it to Zippy, either in the more conventional ways or through email: [email protected]. Believe it or not, we want to know how you feel. Now, let's all hold hands and sing campfire tunes.

—Zippy "Kumbaya" McDuff