Workshop Schedule

11:00 A.M.
The Fine Art of Passing the Buck: How to Investigate Yourself When You've Done Something Horribly Wrong by KPD spokesperson Foster Arnett, Jr.

11:30 A.M.
Impotence Means Never Having to Say "Not Tonight, Honey" by the Knoxville Vascular Clinic

12:00 P.M.
The Dark Side of Rogaine: What Every Man Should Know About its Dangerous Side Effects, a special presentation by The Hair Club for Men

12:30 P.M.
How to Say "I Love You"—Bonding With Your Assault Rifle by Mike Holloway of Mike Holloway's Gun Show fame

1:00 P.M.
The Real Truth About Seeding and Aeration, by Green Acres Lawn Care

1:30 P.M.
Bar Brawls—Making That Important Decision to "Take It Outside" by Knoxville Karate Center

1:45 P.M.
Buffet Etiquette: How Many Trips Are Too Many? by The Great American Steak & Buffet

2:00 P.M.
SPECIAL ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION
Repressing Your Emotions 101: Who Says You Have to Cry?

Three-and-a-Half Special Hours Especially for Special Men Who Like to Feel Really Special!

Today's men are always on the go, constantly taking from others, rarely making time for their families, and usually wearing themselves out drinking Bud and watching NASCAR.

STUFF THAT WEASEL! Jim Bob of Jim Bob's Taxidermy and Deer Processing goes over the finer points of weasel-stuffing at the Men Today Expo.

What they need is a day to enjoy wrestling matches, get pinstripes for the pick-up, do some shopping for new firearms—just like they do every other day of the week. But this time, it's all under one roof!

That's what the First Annual 1998 Men Today Expo is all about.

"We want men to take a day off and spend it on themselves, just like usual," says Coury Turczyn, executive editor of Metro Pulse, event sponsor. "They juggle busy lives, going from bar to bar, smoking, eating pizza, and watching ESPN until they drop from exhaustion. They deserve to do all that in one place—and now they can!"

Think you know your AK-47? Let the experts from Shoot 'N Kill Outlets unlock the mysteries of your assault rifle! (This is not an advertorial.)

The nice thing about the Men Today Expo is that it's for every man. Whether you're a career man, a stay-at-home deadbeat, or an MTV-watching high school dropout, you'll find a profusion of products and services that can make your life easier, more interesting, and more beautiful.

"We're excited to provide this for the men of East Tennessee and for the businesses willing to pay through the nose to reach this audience," says Joe Sullivan, Metro Pulse publisher. "We're making a big pot of money off this thing, and that's what matters most. Men are going to be paying five bucks a shot to get in and see all the things they'd normally find at West Town Mall—and they're thanking us for it! It makes my heart swell with joy."