Top 3 Ways Not to Get Appointed to County Commission
If anyone in East Knoxville failed to throw his or her hat into the ring for the appointment to Rudy Dirl's old seat, you wouldn't have known it by attending the meeting Monday. Some interesting arguments were proposed by the would-be appointees.
There was (loosly paraphrased): "I have heard the voice of the people and it says appoint my boyfriend."
And "I couldn't be any dumber than ya'all are."
And, perhaps best of all, "Appoint me because I can't get elected."
It was perhaps no accident that Frank Bowden, who got the appointment, didn't speak at all.

Which One's Beavis?
Knox County Commission dropped its threat to yank funding from local cable access Channel 12 this week, but only after cable provider Comcast promised to help protect offended parties from shows like the occasionally raunchy (and currently off-the-air) GTV. Comcast general manager Barbara Lewis says the cable company will block the channel—which mostly carries local government meetings and religious programming—free of charge for any household that requests it. It's a service offered for only one other channel: the Beavis and Butthead-laden MTV. (Other channels can be blocked, but only for a fee.) Lewis has no idea how many people will request the block, but it's not hard to see the appeal—Knox County parents can now make sure their innocent babes aren't scarred for life by accidentally channel surfing into a County Commission meeting.

Cash Registers
Anyone near the stage at Johnny Cash's Thursday night show at the Tennessee Theatre last week might have noticed he seemed a little, well, uncomfortable. While the country legend's bottomless bass voice still had plenty of rumble, his hands shook noticeably when he held a microphone and he was obviously having trouble strumming in time with his band. He seemed relieved when wife June Carter took the stage from him for several songs (which were livened by her recollections of performing at the old WNOX studios just up Gay Street). Well, turns out the veteran performer wasn't just experiencing stage fright—after his next show, in Flint, Mich., he announced he's been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and canceled the rest of his fall tour. Although his publicist says Cash hopes to return to the road after receiving treatment for the degenerative disorder, it's possible the Knoxville crowd will be one of the last to hear dark classics like "Folsom Prison Blues" and "Ring of Fire" from the original Man in Black. Godspeed, Johnny.